Can Meetings Come To Order? by Virginia Cooper Westall Margaret is my best friend. She regularly does to decide what was the best route to take to town Good Works, and I frequently espouse Good and where to park and all that and I've never Causes SO between us, we attend a lot of meet- been safely anonymous again. What's your ex- ings. Last week we were coming home together cuse?" from our separate civic duties and I asked, "How "I don't have one," I answered sheepishly, "I did your meeting go?" volunteered." "Aargh," she replied with great feeling. "About Like Margaret, I am a great believer in the as usual-just awful. The bad part about Good light-one-candle approach to problems, SO I said, Works is all those meetings that never start on "We both know that a certain number of meet- time. Our chairman breezed in fifteen minutes ings are an absolute necessity for Good Works late, short on breath and long on apologies." and Good Causes. What would you suggest to Margaret mimicked the tardy chairman's bright improve them?" voice: "I'm simple SO terribly sorry. I do hope "Start on time," was her prompt reply, "and end you went on without me." Warming to her sub- on time." ject and obviously vexed which is something she "Have at least a speaking acquaintance with usually isn't because she is the soul of patience, Roberts' Rules," I proposed, "and that goes for she continued, "We couldn't begin until she came members as well as the chairman." because she had all the reports and records. Be- "Pick a meeting place that is centrally located, sides, if we had gone on without her, she would preferably with plenty of parking places, and have made us stop and tell her everything that choose one appropriate to the size of the group had happened SO we wouldn't have gained any of where you won't be stuffed into a room too small, the lost time. nor rattle around in a room too big." "She didn't really need to call that meeting any- "Like the Y? Or the fellowship hall of a how because she's one of those steam-roller church?" types who have everything decided before we get "Sure. Or the board room of a bank. The com- together. I feel as though a Mack truck just ran munity service room of the power and light com- over my instep. pany. The new Boy Scout building or the old "If time is really money, as they say, then I'm Red Cross building." the biggest spender in town, waiting for people "But not the day nursery-we met there one who are always late. Their time may not be valu- time and their chairs are too little." able to them, but mine is to me." "Blow a dollar on instant coffee and paper I knew Margaret was bothered because that cups. Ask them for coffee at 10:00 and start the was her day to help the little kids in the swim- meeting at 10:30 after they've exchanged greet- ming pool at the orthopedic hospital, and she had ings and small talk. Then maybe there wouldn't already announced she had a bushel of errands to be SO much whispered chit-chat after the busi- do. Minding her manners to allow me equal time, ness starts." however, she inquired, "How did yours go?" "Or if you have the meeting at home, get a "I'm sorry we were late getting out," I began buddy to come answer your phone and take mes- apologetically, "but you know that even meetings sages while it's going on. In fact, I bet if you de- which start on time seldom end on time, although veloped a post card habit it would save a bunch they might if speakers would confine themselves of calls." to plain English. Our chairman used expressions "Well now. After we get them together, make like viable infra-structure and told us what to do them comfortable, give them a chance to visit, to orchestrate creative listening. Whatever all and start on time that means. "Exactly," I said, picking up her train of "We had a good speaker, though, and I felt thought. "We get down to business and we sorry for him. He stuck to his allotted time, but wouldn't ever, not ever, take the time of the the chairman put him last on the agenda SO while whole group to decide something that should be he was still talking, people began leaving for car settled in committee, if this is a board meeting pools and other appointments because we were "Or between individuals if it's a committee running SO late. It must be terrible to have your meeting. And if you have a guest speaker, he is audience disappear, one by one, right under your first on the program and you' already warned nose. the group they're expected to stay until the meet- "Actually, our meeting never did end, at least ing is over." not all at once. It just disintegrated." Or meet at night SO no one will have another I wondered aloud how Margaret and I ever got appointment and maybe even invite husbands. mixed up in so many meetings and she said, "I And be sure you offer to pick the speaker up and don't know about you, but I opened Pandora's take him home. Then thank him promptly in box about fifteen years ago when I agreed to writing no later than the next day. What else?" drive five second-graders to visit the telephone "If you plan on slides or films, be sure the op- company. They called a meeting of the mothers erator knows how to operate the particular ma- 8